you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
