Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
