3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
