i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
