Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
