the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
