The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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