btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
