Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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