Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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