You just made me feel so damn special
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
