chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
