Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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