if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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