Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
