you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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