"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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