she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
