Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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