My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
