Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
