my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
