Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
