Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
