College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
