Don't you send me to vm
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
