yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My liver just had a heart attack.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
