it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Randomize