She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
