Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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