You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
