Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
