Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
two words: eviction party
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
