You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
