We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
