And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize