Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
