i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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