Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
