Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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