Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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