thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize