No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
