so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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