Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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