one two three fourrrrnication!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
