HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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