So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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