God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Barsexuality is the new black.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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