Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
