I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
sex in a hospital.. check
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
