i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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