I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize