More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
