I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
