I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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