She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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