Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Everyone says I win the strip club
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
