I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
