she was so not down for the gang bang
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize