who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize