If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
