Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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