Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
