im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize