it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
