so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
