what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
