guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
