I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
