Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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