Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(330): View more from Ohio

i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

Fav 16 1517 5679
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice

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(+27): View more from South Africa

You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone

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(713): View more from Texas

Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

Fav 9 4569 1041
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.

Fav 6 1430 836
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(276): View more from Virginia

How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,

Fav 2 214 125
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(406): View more from Montana

Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.

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