he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
