THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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