the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
