You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
