you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize