Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
